Time for some yearly reflections because it is the 2nd day of 2017. Too many random thoughts on my mind now. But I love nights. Especially nights when I don't have to worry about waking up early the next day lol. I love how quiet nights are, when it feels like the whole world is asleep except for you and you are alone with your own thoughts and don't have to give a shit about the rest of the world.

Was scrolling through old posts (after deciding to blog) and suddenly had a random thought. You know how memories fade with time right..? Then when you look back on those memories and perhaps even when you try to share them with others, do you kind of make some of them up because you've forgotten some parts of how things really were? Do you then go on to believe that that was truly what happened? Does that make your past a lie? Even to yourself? :/

I really should blog more often cause my memory is really bad.

So back to 2016. I realised that I semi-blogged about it in brief the previous time. But how come I didn't mention grad trip to langkawi with cedric and friends HAHA. That was one trip that I think I had fun planning for because it was semi-chaotic and everyone was looking at different stuff and trying to fit everything in the short 3 days that we were there. But it was a great trip, partly because of the activities (sky-trekked (?!) i.e. high ropes challenge + countless ziplines, parasailing, island hopping, trying to find good food places) and mostly because of the company. We are really not the closest clique in pharm considering that 3/4 of us are sqms lol. And how we always say we'll travel / meet up but never did throughout the 4 years. We've never really talked about very personal stuff maybe because the opportunity never presented itself (?) or maybe because we were not equally close with one another. But I'll always be thankful that we had cedric lol, technically my closest pharm friend throughout these 4 years in uni (sqms aside). Now that everyone is busy with pre-reg it's kinda hard to keep track of each other's lives and we don't even have in-between lecture breaks to nua together anymore haha. But at least there are still PSS sessions I guess and hopefully our friendship will last beyond that.

Which brings me to the next topic of pre-reg. It is 6 months into pre-reg haha. Time really disappears man. It's been hell of a crazy hectic period. Couple of times of wanting to break down during work. Staying in the hospital till almost 2 am (?!) trying to settle stuff for the company's christmas party (haha priorities..). Going crayyy in the ward office trying to rush work until late at night. Countless times of ubering/ grabbing home. But I would say that things have been going pretty well thus far. Still feeling very much inadequate to handle all them responsibilities. Learning new stuff and finding out along the way that there's even more things that you don't know. Or rather that there's way too much that you don't know / are unsure about. Feeling slightly burnt out. Trying not to step on anyone's toes every day. Trying to breathe (sometimes). But very very much thankful for the friendships made during the journey. Really wouldn't have survived all those days / nights in the ward office if I was alone. :')

And then to all the other friendships that I've neglected in the past 6 months hahaha. It's really hard trying to juggle work + life haha especially at this point when pre-reg is wayyy too demanding. Idk if it's a good thing or not that everyone is also busy with work and moving on with one another's lives..? But I'm thankful for sqms who will always be a constant in my life. Thankful that we still managed to meet up once every few months to catch up with one another's lives and for the ridiculous / random conversations that sometimes take place over whatsapp. Though I still feel that we have lots to catch up with one another. I'm also thankful for the people who have seen the worst of me and still stuck by my side regardless. Thankful for chuxi who has been sharing hall / uni / travel experiences with me over the past 4 years. I really think that our friendship has come a long way HAHA. And I think 2017 might be a kind of life-changing year for you because someone is coming back heh. I really had a lot a lot a lot of reservations about it, knowing everything that has happened over the past year, knowing both sides of the stories as how they were told. But I've learnt to accept that people do change and to let go of things of the past. For now, I just wish for the people I love to be happy. Also very much thankful for certain hall friends who have shaped my life over the past 2 years. Can't be more grateful for y'all. And also my family, for getting my life in order over the past 6 months haha.

So that was 2016. The whole year literally sped by, with fyp > graduation > grad trip to langkawi then japan and korea > pre-reg. I guess it was kind of a fulfilling year? With all the significant events that happened and people that I've met along the way. Looking back on some of the older posts, I think I'm also a more contented person now? Or maybe just that I haven't really had time to myself to think about life HAHA. But I do feel a bit different from 1 year ago. I guess we do grow up after all whether we choose to or not.

3 more months to the end of pre-reg. A few weeks back I was just telling chuxi that I'm looking forward to the end of pre-reg yet feeling a bit scared about it. Pre-reg has kinda taken over my life for the past half of the year that I think I'll feel a bit lost when it ends. But I'm mini excited for the year that 2017 will bring. I guess I'll just have to find another purpose in life HAHA. Easier said than done given how I've always been living life passively. But I've been thinking about all the things that I've been wanting to do for the past few years now, like going on a solo trip, exploring new places and trying out new things, getting a diving license (though I feel that this won't happen anytime soon because it's not the highest on my to-do list anymore haha), maybe getting a driving license hmm. I'll continue to sleep on that. But yep too many things on that to-do list and I hope that at the end of 2017 I won't be blogging about how I managed to let life take over again.

Semi-recharged over the weekend going for a short trip to JB with the family hehe. Asked my bro something I've been curious about for a long time (hmm achievement unlocked? HAHA). But here's to a better me in a better year ahead (: